WHAT CHRIS SAID AT THE TIME:

It gives me the most extraordinary pleasure to announce that Mr. Max Abner Allison formally poked his head into this sphere of earthly sorrows and joys today, Tuesday December 19 2006, at 12:19 p.m. (Japan Standard Time), after some 17 hours of travail on the part of his mother. (Yes, 12:19 on 12/19. That's what happens when mom is a leapling.) Both mother and child are now resting contentedly, thoroughly depleted but seemingly none the worse for the effort. Mr. Max was born with a full head of reddish blonde hair similar to his mom's, and the big head, big feet, and long fingers that are decidedly dad's. He weighed in at 3.6 kgs, or just a hair under 8 lbs.

We are all plum tuckered, so phone calls, further details, and photos will have to wait a little bit. In the meantime, we send our love and best wishes for happy holidays of your own!

Love,

Chris, Beth, and Max

WHAT BETH SAID MANY DAYS LATER:

I am writing this from my big teak rocking chair in Max's room, which is my new favorite place to be.

First of all, this will have to pass for a birth announcement to some of you. Chris sent e-mails from his e-mail address that some of you who are closer to me than to him may not have read because you took it for spam. He also used a couple of old addresses from my address book and the official announcement may never have reached you. So . . .

In this corner . . . !

Introducing . . . !

Max Abner Allison

(crowd roar)

Weighing in at 8 pounds and measuring 20.5 inches, Max arrived, cosmically, at precisely 12:19 pm on 12/19, 2006. The title of his horoscope profile in my cheesy horoscope book defines him simply as "the hellraiser". Oh goody.

His entire gestation was simple and easy and the first 14 hours of his 17-hour birth were a breeze. He and I both consider ourselves lucky. It was really those last three hours of pushing that led us down a twisted and horrific path, much like the road through the witch's forest in the Wizard of Oz. I will spare you the details because they are gory and some of you may not be able to stomach it. But, in the event, he arrived safely and I emerged without surgery, which was sort of touch and go for a while. Chris will probably get over it in about 25 years.

Primary among the little quirks that made the end of the process difficult was the fact that Li'l Abner, who was still Li'l Abner then, decided to begin his lifetime of defiance by emerging from me with his little fist raised and planted firmly in his right temple. Power to the people! The skull of a newborn is a remarkably pliable thing though, and he managed to make it out, war-torn and battle-scarred, but happy and healthy and very, very strong. His first nickname in life was Lumpy. Lumpy Hellraiser.

His head is now round and his contusions are already mostly gone.

Chris, who was planning to simply attend the delivery in a very passive way, turned out to be the very greatest factor in the event for me. He figured out that something was wrong and took it upon himself to make sure that Max and I got through it. He very effectively took control of my attention and my focus and talked me through it for three straight hours. He was quickly given the mantle of Super-Daddy by the hospital staff, which soundly applauded his performance.

We make a good team.

After the birth there were other complications that were sort of scary. One does not like to see the hospital staff swing into emergency mode and begin using words like "emergency hysterectomy". But I pulled it off and am still intact. Yay me.

Childbirth is pretty gross.

Now we are home and we are all extremely happy and content. Chris and I are sharing duties and both of us spend lots and lots of time with Max. Max likes Chris best, but he needs me to eat, so we're both serving our purpose. We have all of next week to do nothing but be together, which has been really fun so far. Then Chris will work half-days for a couple of weeks too.

Max is cute as hell. He has the longest fingers and the biggest feet I've ever seen. He's also got a really big head. Allison material, to be sure. His features are pretty fine and he looks a lot like me, most people seem to think. I'd say that I would have to agree at this point. My nose and mouth (Damn! We're already saving for dental bills.) and my hair. So far. He'll be different tomorrow though.

He is very curious and extremely strong and dexterous. At four days old, he can already put a pacifier in his own mouth and take it out when he's done with it. Nature is weird. He eats well and likes lights and listens to music while he sleeps. He's perfect.

So that's where we stand. I'm sorry about this group e-mail thing but I can't possibly answer everybody right now and I don't know who has had exactly what conversation with Chris while I was convalescing.

Thank you all for your congratulations and help and gifts and etc. A last bunch of gifts arrived today and we thank everybody for everything. Really. Thanks. When I figure out what came from where, I will thank you personally.

Consider this a reply to any outstanding e-mails. To engage me now in individual conversation, please respond to this and forgive me if I managed to ignore any important comments or queries from previous e-mails. From here, we start fresh.

I am very, very happy. All three of us are very, very happy.

b.